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Lessons From Juniors The lesson India and Pakistan must draw from their upset defeats in the early rounds of the World Cup at the hands of teams with weaker reputations is the need to revamp their teams by way of retirements to bring in fresh talent

What is your salary per Minute.... Shah Rukh Khan What: Actor How much: Rs 247 per minute The King Khan, who started off modestly as a 'Fauji', made about Rs 13 crore last year. This included his endorsement deals for Pepsi, Hyunda

Subject: We INDIANS. Go East...Go WEST....The Desi Indian, at his BEST... is a PEST.!! Go North...Go SOUTH...You can make him out...when he opens his MOUTH.!! One Bengali is a poet Two Bengalis is a film society Three Bengalis is a politi

प्यारी सीता, मैं itthe raji ख़ुशी से हाँ and hope ke tu v ठीक ठाक hovengi, Laxman रात नु tannu बहुत याद करदा si. मैं इस बन्दर दे हाथ tannu चिट्ठी bhej reha हाँ,तू bilkul tension ना layi मैं बहुत jaldi tenu ravan कोलो chuda lavanga.मैं AIRTEL दा p

Once an American minister invited his counter-part minister Indian minister to visit his country. After the official meeting the American invited his counter part to his home. Please feel comfortable and let me know if you want something. Indian mi

Once Banta singh went to buy a Indian Flag on Independence day. The shopkeeper showed him different size flags. Banta asked the Shopkeeper a question for which Shopkeeper fainted. Guess What could be the question . . . .

WHO OWNS KASHMIR? An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile. A representative from India began his speech: 'Before beginning my talk I want to te

Pichle saal ki baat hai.. There was a movie released called "GAVASKAR" in Australia. Apna Sunil Gavaskar felt very proud about it. He went personally to watch the movie and check out how his image was portrayed in the movie. Movie chaa

Marriage (Part I) Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a grea

एक वृद्ध दंपति को लगने लगा कि उनकी याददासत 

Tenali Raman was the Court Jester under Vijaya Nagar Dynasty. One day the King was made to part with 1000 gold coins by a trickster on an assurance that he will get excellent Arabian Horses, for a rediculously low cost, within a week's time! Ten

Sardar to a Friend: Please do not send me cheap messages, as I am 4m a very rich family. We r in the iron n steel business. Some days I iron n other days I steal….<)

EK THA SARDAR, PADA THA BEEKAR, BAAP THA LAACHAR, MAA KO AYA VICHAR, KHILAYA ACHHAR, HO GAYA BEDA PAAR, AAJ SARDAR CHALATA HAIB BHARAT KI SARKAR...

Can you describe sardharji? Here it goes !!!! Sardhar ji is a person who peeps through a key hole of a glass door.

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the

Dr. MANISH SINHA, A PSYCHOTHERAPIST, HAD EMPLOYED OUR SANTA SINGH TO PAINT HIS NAME PLATE. HE INSTRUCTED SANTA TO GIVE AMPLE SPACE BETWEEN THE WORDS, AND LEFT THE CLINIC. ON HIS RETURN, HE WAS ASTONISHED AT THE SIGHT OF THE NAME PLATE TH

Top 10 Blonde Inventions: 1. The water proof towel 2. Solar powered flash light 3. Submarine screen door 4. A book on how to read 5. Inflatable dart board 6. A dictionary index 7. Ejector seat for a helicopter 8. Powdered wate

what did the male dog say 2 female dog in the kool nite witj bright moon lite.............?? BOW BOW BOW what else can a dog say???

> The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and > flowers too. > > If rain makes all things beautiful why dosen't it rain > on you?

A judge irritated by a lawyer's behaviour, admonished him, "You are crossing the limits." "Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai," roared the lawyer. "How dare you call me saala ? I'll have you charged for 'contempt of court'," said the judge an

How to Kill a Lion: Cognizant Method: hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do. Give him Gobi 65 to eat again and again. Hire 100 more lions but do not increases the space to sit give them same Gobi

Paitent: Doctor, yeh phulon ki mala kis ke liye? Doctor: Yeh mera pehla operation hai, Success hua to mere liye, Nahi to tumhare liye. Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto. Banta asks: Why are you removing a wheel from your

The Secret of Surnames...from a village near Patna A guy from Bihar was away from his family for about 4 years while his wife was in a village near Patna. At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that h

Interviewer: what is your birth date? Sardar: 13th October Which year? Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR Manager asked to sardar at an interview. Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Sardar replyed

Ladki de doodh peene ke 5 fayde. 1-Milabat ka khatra nehi.2-Basi hone ka Khatra Nehi,3-Akarsak Packing,4-Bye 1 Get 1 Free,5-Hamesh garam gas ka Bachat

Mirza Ghalib aik din bewafa mehboob ka ghar ke bahar peshaab karthey huay pakra gaya tho ussne yeh sher kaha..... Tare pyar main yunn dukhee hai ghalib k, Ansoo bhi nikalthey hain rasthey badal badal kar.........

Our Friend (Hero) was chatting with a female - Online chat. Both are s/w engineers and both work for real big MNC's Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today? Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having

There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny. The husband then donated some of his skin...however, t

Prostitute to sardar:500 Rs loongi...hil hil ke doongi!!! Sardar to prostitute:250 Rs dunga...khud hi hil loonga!!

One day Laloo was travelling by his car to a village. Suddenly a piglet came before the car. The driver could'nt hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident. Laloo was deeply moved. He called the d

so horny he decides to have sex with the monkey. He catches the monkey, tries to have sex with it, but it slips out of his grip and runs away. He tries again the next day, but the same thing happens. Then, he sees the hottest girl in the world dr

Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai- Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first. A teacher told all students in a class to write ...

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!" Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE! Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Ayaa.. Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bat ...

A father was agruing with his daughter about her going out to a party.Shaking his head sidways he said he would not allow her to go as the head of the house. At that stage his wife stepped in and consoled her daughter saying if he is the "head" of th

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought th

Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain! Girl: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge? Boy: Bilkul nahi! Girl: To phir rehne do...

There are 7 Engineers and 7 Doctors going from PUNE to Mumbai. So they all gather at STATION. Both group trying to prove their superiority. scene 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) So 7 engineers take only 1 Tickets amongst them and 7 doctors take all 7 ti

Ek samay ki baat hai Lakshmi ji ka wahan 'ULLU' Ek bar unse ruth gaya or bola 'Apki sab puja karte hai, mujhe koi nahi pujta' Lakshmi ji boli 'Ab se har sal meri puja se 11 din pehle tumhari puja hogi . Uss din sirf ULLU puje jayenge ..... T

Career Song - The 8 stages 1. When in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaam iyaab ek din..... ********* 2. When giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn.... ********* 3. W

One overwise and alert listener once decided to put RJ of BIG FM in a fix by asking him some tricky question.. One fine morning he rang him up ,RJ picked up the phone and in typical voice greeted our listner "Hello ,BIG FM !Who is it.." Li

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner...who lives with a Girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, a

A Foreigner had a very spicy Indian dinner.......Next morning he came out of the toilet & said...now I understand why Indians use water & this bloody tissue paper can catch fire.

Mr. Jaswanth Singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for the items. Singh asked " Where is the fat ?" , Person did not understand what Singh was saying and said

to A Fresh MIT graduate , HR Recrutiter asks how much salary you need ..200K depending on benefit. What benefits company provide ? MIT grad asks 3 weeks of holidat , 100% 401k matching , leased car for 2 yr ..how does that sonds ? Are you kidding

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean sitting side by side. The lawyer said, ''I'm here 'cause my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.'' ''That's quite

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE ! There are six floors and

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week." The next day he calls again

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coate

Why NEWTON was shocked when he saw a Beautiful Girl nude???? Ans : He found something in himself going against his own "Law of Gravity" !!! *********************************************************************** Kid asks Dad : How baby comes

BiharDriving License DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen. If you dot know how to fill ,copy from your phriend (dost)applikason. For phurthar instructions

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of th

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?"He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on

Bihari Babu Jokes by (name removed upon request) 1) A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says: Saala pura body headache maar raha hai 2) A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho ticket dena, the p

* Mannoo was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Mannoo thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner...who lives with a Girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, a

A Foreigner had a very spicy Indian dinner.......Next morning he came out of the toilet & said...now I understand why Indians use water & this bloody tissue paper can catch fire.

Mr. Jaswanth Singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for the items. Singh asked " Where is the fat ?" , Person did not understand what Singh was saying and said

to A Fresh MIT graduate , HR Recrutiter asks how much salary you need ..200K depending on benefit. What benefits company provide ? MIT grad asks 3 weeks of holidat , 100% 401k matching , leased car for 2 yr ..how does that sonds ? Are you kidding

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean sitting side by side. The lawyer said, ''I'm here 'cause my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.'' ''That's quite

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE ! There are six floors and

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week." The next day he calls again

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coate

Why NEWTON was shocked when he saw a Beautiful Girl nude???? Ans : He found something in himself going against his own "Law of Gravity" !!! *********************************************************************** Kid asks Dad : How baby comes

BiharDriving License DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen. If you dot know how to fill ,copy from your phriend (dost)applikason. For phurthar instructions

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of th

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?"He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on

Bihari Babu Jokes by (name removed upon request) 1) A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says: Saala pura body headache maar raha hai 2) A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho ticket dena, the p

* Mannoo was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Mannoo thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh...). As she stood in front of Yamraj , she saw huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, "What are all those clocks?" Yamraj answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Ev

Once, mirza ghalib, the shayar, is caught doing susu outside his mehbooba's house.... she sez.. "kya kar rahe ho...??" he sez.... "khoya hua hoon main itne ghum mein tere vaaste...." "khoya hua hoon main itne ghum mein tere vaaste...." "k

koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki, achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gayee.

Recently the father of physics made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Indian movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he h

Musharraf in Tunnel: Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of

A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "Not This Woman." Nevertheless,

A desi was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." "Cover me. I'm changing lanes." "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools" "Happiness is a belt-fed weapon" "L

John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for th

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of he

One payday a worker FOUND an extra $10 bill IN his pay envelope AND happily kept it. The following week he discovered that he was $10 short. He rushed angrily TO paymaster AND complained . The paymaster explained thet the PREVIOUS $10 error had been

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The wo

What you can learn from an ass... One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Tolani Jr. what is your problem?" Tolani Jr. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter th

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to an

#Local variable - Mien pal do pal ka shayar hoon pal do pal meri kahani hai pal do pal meri hastihai.. # Global variable - Main har ik pal ka shayar hoon har ik pal meri kahani hai har ik pal meri hasti hai .. # Null pointers - Mera jeev

An eighty year old couple decide to try for a child. They visit the doctor who asks the old geezer to produce a sperm sample in a bottle. After two weeks, the couple return and the bottle is empty. "What's the problem?" asks the doctor. "Well," says

1. A student's leave letter : "As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage i cannot attend the class...." --------------------------------------------- 2. A candidate's application : "This has reference to your advertisement calling for

Gujju Couple were sitting at the breakfast table and the husband was reading the ads in the paper. He looked up and said, "Here is a great sale on tires!" His wife replied, "What do you want tires for? You don't have a car." He came b

Microsoft Word in Hindi Bill Gates had announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi. Here are some Windows related terms that are to be used in the Hindi version of ..........Khidkiyan'DoHazar ( Windows 2000 ): 1.P

little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropp

Hai friends, The following is the technical problem one of my friend got and a solution for this is also identified. Pls. find out if there are any other ways to fix this problem. Dear (IT) Technical Support: I am desperate for some help.

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner...who lives with a Girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, a

A boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look. "Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?" She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?" She replied, "Well,

A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. "Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the f

Here's the untold secret of married life....!!! A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple!" A local newspaper reporter was inqui

When Billy Bob is killed in a construction accident, one of his two redneck friends goes to tell his wife. Two hours later the friend return with a case of beer. "I got it from Billy Bob's wife," the friend explains. "when she opened the door , I sa

A wife sits with her husband at a therapist's office, complaining about their marriage. suddenly, the therapist rips off her clothes and makes love to her. As the wife sits quietly, the counselor tells the husband ,"your wife needs this three times